things you hear in the hairdressers

I have just returned from the hairdressers and realised that you can gather a wealth of information (some may say gossip) from what goes on around you when you're sitting in that chair.

I like to sit in the chair and see what I can guess/learn about those around me. My man calls me nosey, I prefer inquisitive or if I am feeling really defensive, sourcing material! For an hour or so you can relax in someone else's hands and keep those ears pricked for interesting tit bits that, when the hairdryers aren't all going, make their way across the room to you. What harm can being an earwig actually do?

My top tip would be to go in the week, weekends may be busy but all you'll listen to is what's hot on a Saturday night- unless this is what you're after in which case ignore this advice! No, to get the really meaty stuff a Wednesday afternoon can turn into a goldmine of gossip.

Be subtle! Remember to make bit of chit chat yourself or people will think you're a)mute or b) boring. However, you may not be the only "listener" there so stick to safe subjects like holidays or the tables may turn.

Don't ask you hairdresser to be quiet out loud!! The shame!! It still makes me cringe enormously but one visit I had the most interesting and fabulous woman sitting next to me at the sinks telling the most amazing story and Jane, my hairdresser at the time, kept asking me if the water was too hot. Complete mortification followed when the thoughts in my head came right out of my big mouth...."sssshhh! I can't hear". I changed salons not long after- these were my rookie days.

Although it's true that I technically live in a city, it's so small it is actually more of a village. Most people know each other or should it be know OF each other. Six degrees of separation is SO true round here, maybe even four degrees at times!

"........so I fired him." As you can imagine when this snippet made it's way to my lughole I needed to know more. Immediately my eyes went to the mirror searching out where this info had come from. My fringe was being cut at this point making things rather difficult but all I needed was a quick glance to confirm my suspicions. Focusing briefly (those scissors were awfully close) on the ash blond bob and the bright red lips I realised it was the owner/manager (we'll call her Anne) of one of our competitors- a small and cosy French brasserie round the corner. This was GOLD. I had yet to confirm who she was talking about but I knew from previous visits that her head chef had been sleeping with the bar manager who was now pregnant. Anne didn't know this- the girl who washes my hair is friends with the bar manager and made the mistake of telling her colleague when I was sitting at the sink, head back, ears open.

Far from lighthearted conversation, we were sailing into potentially harmful waters now. Full sail ahead!!! "......so Jon is having to step up until we can hold more interviews....". Cha ching. I know Jon. He is the sous chef which in tun means the head chef has been fired. Incidentally, Jon's a fantastic cook and this is a great opportunity for him (I'm not all bad).

More importantly why was this guy fired? I had missed the beginning of the tale so intensive catch up had to be done. Anne couldn't fire him for knocking somebody up.

My head is beginning to hurt now from straining to hear! Bravely(?) I plough on. Just as I thought, he hasn't been fired for getting someone pregnant, more WHERE he got her pregnant. That's right, as I lean forward to have a sip of my coffee, I heard " I still have to decide what to do with her; after all they were both in my office when I walked in on them. It cost me £200 for a new chair."

I nearly choked!!! Covertly looking around I saw that nobody else seemed to be paying attention, they were all busy looking at themselves and their new haircuts. Reeling from what I had heard I sat back and closed my eyes.

"There, all done." I opened my eyes and looked at my reflection. Oh dear. You guessed it, my fringe stopped about an inch short of my eyebrows. Blunt fringes are in but this is not a look I can get away with. I would like to say I have learned my lesson but my fringe will grow back and I love the talk of the town so my ear-wigging days are certainly not over.......

Curiosity didn't kill the cat but it did make me wear a hat on the way home.